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Monday, November 6, 2017

Babywatch Blog 2017: New Guy

Me Now: My mommy loves me.

Me Now: My mommy loves me.

Um, Hi. I’m New Guy. The lady said I have this ‘Blog’ homework since I’m the first baby. She also says I’m a lot like my aunt Fairy Dust, who did the last blog series because I’m pretty outgoing. If anyone noticed that the Three Amigos never did a babywatch blog last summer, they are correct... the lady told me those three were always too busy with sports and couldn’t do the Blog. They were sorta like ‘party boys’ also. They were Flakey. Now I’m stuck with it, but I don’t mind because I am way smarter than those guys anyways.

So, a little about me: I was born today on day 336 of gestation. I weigh 14.8 lbs and am a ‘Light Fawn’ alpaca. I like sleeping and walking by my mom and a thing called the milk bar, I like moonlit nights and Im a Scorpio.... Oh, wait. Sorry, I guess this isn‘t a dating profile. Nevermind I’m too young for that.

Ok, so first I need to address the uniform here. I am a little mad. What THE HECK is this Dumb Baby Pajama thing she just put on me? I am a special bright and shiney ‘Lt Fawn’ not just boring white so I really think the lady made a huge mistake slapping this black thing on me. I Will be reporting this tomorrow when the office opens. Oh, where is the office here?

Today was the day the people move clocks back an hour. That whole thing confused me so I just popped out at 5am so I wasnt late. The lady said I did it in the wrong direction and 7am would have been better for her. Well, unless she gives me a better color for these dumb pajamas, I will tell the other kids to come at 5 am too! I was cold and wet sitting by my mom in the dark when The Lady came out because as she says ‘she could feel something was up’ ... I’m thinking she actually just had nothing better to do. The lady came and had towels. I prefer my towels warmed, which she had tragically forgotten to warm up. As if that wasnt bad enough, she put a thing in my butt that told her I was 97 degrees (I should have been 100). I was super mad when she then picked me up and took me in the house where I got ‘blow dried’. Now I admitt... THAT was the bomb!! You can blow-dry me with an $80 blow-dryer any day lady!! Anyways, that thing made me so happy I thought the lady was my best friend for life. It took an exceptionally long time to dry my sides because I am dense. Not like ‘stupid’ dense but like awesome dense! Just sayin’...

The rest of my first day was spent with my mommy. I have the Best Mom in the world! She loved TSwift when she was my age so they named her Shake It Off. My mom has a famous dad named Levi’s 501 - he lives in New York now. The lady says I look just like my other grandpa tho- he is PC Running Late. He has hundreds of babies because he is so awesome. She has been talking about him all day.... because ‘I look JUST Like a Running Late baby’! Blah blah blah.... whatever Lady.

So Im hopefully going to have a friend tomorrow... then there will be others next week. Im hoping there are some other guys that are cool like me so we can run around together. The lady says she doesnt care what they are, they just need to come out easily like Superman with their arms and head flying out in the right direction.... I guess the last baby here didn’t read the manual and came out backwards or something. We’re way smarter than that now in class of 2017. I think.

See Ya!
~New Guy

What The.....Just WHAT is this dumb black thing?!

What The.....Just WHAT is this dumb black thing?!

My ‘well conditioned’ mom

My ‘well conditioned’ mom

My happy face when I got Blow-Dried inside

My happy face when I got Blow-Dried inside